I made the this new topic because I am struggling...
As you might have read (topic: last resorts treatments) it has been a bit a bumpy ride lately with no positive news at all. Now thiswas not only stressfull to me but also to the ppl around me.
My girlfriend is a bit sad and I can feel her stressing and beeing scared... her positive mood is a bit fading. My mom doesn't understand why they won't do surgery... and is angry.
So my question is
How do you 'prepare' your loved ones. Are you doing certain things to make it easier for them when you are gone or .... Yeah I don't know any tips and trics would be welcome! In case if I had to leave this world I want that they suffer as little as possible from it. So I want to be prepared and make it easier for them. This may sound all very negative but for me it is very important.
I'd like to hear what caregivers have to say about this. I've often wondered the same thing... I've made videos for my son and I heard about people who made cards to be open on specific dates or for special events in the future.
I didn’t do anything yet but it is a good idea to do so. I may prepare some cards or write notes for them. Also to leave some pictures and videos. But all of these things will not replace me as a daughter, a wife and a mother. So I will fight tell the end and keep smiling. There is another life after death. I believe in that and they do the same. Something else , you never know what will happen so please enjoy your life day by day and do not think about the future.
My husband passed away this summer. He really struggled with conversations about dying and how we would move forward. He did talk a little with close friends regarding his wishes for us. I commend anyone going thru treatment that is able to do things like write letters or make videos. I would have loved a letter or something tangible however for me seeing his strength and strong presence and quiet faith is what has carried me forward…along with my faith, support from my faith community and friends. Each day without him creates new challenges and opportunities to grow and reflect on our love we shared together. Your loved ones will have many hard days BUT they will smile, they will laugh and they will love!!! As for some practicals…if you are the “guys guy”…let your sweetheart know who you should call for car repairs, when to change the furnace filter…something that can give her confidence and strength that she can be okay. Maybe you do the Christmas cards…make sure the address list is known or if you have a special tradition together, tell someone to help your loved ones carry on with that. For us, that tradition was the state fair…and friends gave us tickets. Was hard for my kids and I to go but really important to do it and remember. Honestly, taking time to make more memories. We had some amazing last days…watching movies, playing games and just holding hands and cuddling. We made thumb prints on clay for my kids, myself and godchildren. We put them on a string with St Joseph medals (patron saint of fathers). Some where them, and some are planning to place on Christmas tree:). Hope this helps a little…your loved will be held so close by family and friends…you can’t even imagine. I realize all may have different thoughts and feelings about faith but if open to it, the days of the visitation and funeral can feel like a big warm hug…letting people help and be their is wonderful for all. It has been three months today since I lost my love and although I miss him terribly, he is no longer in pain and I can cherish the thought that I will be with him again. He is ALWAYS in my heart. Hope this helps.
