Mad I should be feeling, but this morning its pure heartache again...
Mucked around yesterday at hospital after waiting hrs for our appointment, just to be seen by a doctor who had no knowledge of my daughters case.. In fact asked what we were there for.. Now I dont know about you, but hospital appointments at onoclogy always have us on the backfoot to start with there is always so much
anxiety and stress felt on these days..
In the last two months my daughter has had many CTs MRI and two VATS to remove four nodules from her lungs. The Vats on the left side last month, found two dead lung tissues and one secondary synovial close to her heart..Last week "Oh yes says the doctor after we sit for an half an hour fill-in chat, Yes thats was cancer too,He told us in such a care free manner I so wanted to slap him in the face..
We are talking about my child, who has only just turned 18, a small frigile little bit of a thing.... Last night my girl was so angry she wanted to scream, yell and cry but couldnt instead she sat in silence, brooding...... Her friends say they'll visit but NO.. Each day she waits and no-one comes, her life again has become hospital, home and loneliness..
Its now finally 6.30 am and sleep has eluded me for hours... Angry YES..... Letters and conversation have been written over and over in my mind.. But hey now its saturday and no-one we deal with or CARE are at hospital today to give us comfort or explanation... Oh god I want to scream...cry and yell from the top of a mountain.....Pray there is no more........ It all gets just too much...